Donnerstag, Juni 15, 2006

Ganz wechtigi Rotschläg

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Are you clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for afew minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.


More questions? Just ask Dr. Murane!!

15 Comments:

At 2:42 nachm., Juni 15, 2006, Blogger EmmaK said...

Wonderful tips Dr Murane! I have one too: cover your arms in nail polish. The protective coating will prevent mosquitos from biting you. It also acts as a handy sunscreen.

 
At 6:00 vorm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Keshi said...

LOL soooooo funny! Loved all of em, especially

****Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.


hahahaha!


Keshi.

 
At 12:07 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Great tip Dr. Kaufmann. Thanks. But I will need someone who also paints my back with the nail polish. I need full body protection!

 
At 12:11 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Keshi: I like the "get someone to hold the veggies while you chop"-thing! haha

To use the sink is a good idea. I just imagined the tickeling feeling of the cold porcelain....

 
At 2:54 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Steph said...

You could solve world hunger and end wars. Seriously!

 
At 3:10 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Die Muräne said...

That would be great!! I'll try hard. Good to see you believe in me! Thanks Steph.

 
At 4:11 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger wallycrawler said...

Doctor how do I...I mean someone get rid of penile warts ? It's not for me it's for a friend...ya a friend named...Ben , ya Ben . The poor fucker !

 
At 4:19 nachm., Juni 16, 2006, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Get rid of them... heaven no!! They are back in fashion this summer. Tell ... Ben, he's a real trendsetter and should wear them with pride. Wait another few weeks and everyone will have them...

 
At 5:41 vorm., Juni 17, 2006, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

All drains lead to the sewer. The only reason I put the seat down is to keep Yukon from using the pot as his water bowl.

 
At 5:27 vorm., Juni 18, 2006, Blogger kandykane said...

brilliant stuff.. I LIKE IT ! especially the 5th point about the damn alrm clocks ;-)

 
At 4:37 nachm., Juni 18, 2006, Blogger jungle jane said...

Lovely Die Murane. May i add: "Never take a laxative and a sleeping tablet on the same night"..

 
At 7:04 vorm., Juni 19, 2006, Blogger Keshi said...

** I just imagined the tickeling feeling of the cold porcelain....


well u dun have to touch the porcelain...lol!

Keshi.

 
At 10:01 nachm., Juni 19, 2006, Blogger Die Muräne said...

kid: sorry, I don't understand a word u say. but who cares...

kandykane: hey hows you? I don't like the early mornings either.

jane: I never take a sleeping tablet. I just read the muranenblog and it sleeps....

keshi: yeah, I dun have to, but I want to. hahaha. good fun on these hot days now lol

 
At 3:50 vorm., Juni 20, 2006, Blogger Keshi said...

**yeah, I dun have to, but I want to

LOL :):)

Keshi.

 
At 5:55 vorm., März 18, 2007, Anonymous Anonym said...

Excellent, love it! »

 

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